Hello there, angry kippers and associated anti-globalist armchair free traders. So you think that an establishment kick in the teeth by voting Brexit was clever? Leaving EU an answer to your and this nation’s problems?
In a recent secret meeting of about a million like minded expats I have been appointed as a spokesperson for leftist libtard traitors who have ‘deserted’ the United Kingdom and hence, so you think, have no business interfering with the destruction you are causing over there back in old Blighty. It’s a thankless rotten task, but someone has to do it. Someone has got to point out to you that no, you haven’t been ignored, exploited or lied to by the media. You’ve not been taken for granted by the Westminster elite and left behind compared to people living in greater London. It’s all your own bloody fault that you were led by the nose by a bunch of EU hating foreign press barons.
You are the authors of your own petty existence. If you’ve got complaints, why not look closer to home? Stop blaming everyone else! Want to change things? Get off your lazy arses! Because we the elite, are sick and tired of hearing: “We are unhappy and you have to do something about that”. Do something about it yourself! So you left school early to have that ‘Pound in your pocket’ and now you regret it? Try night school or Open University. Don’t blame the bad decisions you made in life on us. Don’t blame it on low skilled immigrants that you find yourself competing with over low skilled poor paying jobs.
What follows are just a few suggestions. Yes, if that makes me arrogant and patronising – I know that’s why we lost the referendum – so be it. But don’t you think it’s rather puerile that you have to put us down to make yourself feel better about your miserable existence? You just love it don’t you, if you can paint us in some liberal leftist corner, all the while hoping that we will talk down at you expressing solidarity with your miserable existence? We’re having none of it! You are not poor, downtrodden, nor born with few opportunities in life. If you were, of course we would look after you in our caring and inclusive welfare state. That’s why us lefties created the NHS in the first place and claim to favour Comprehensive over Grammar schools. We have given you a fair chance in life but you didn’t take it. C’est tout!
Just stop it! Stop your underdog serf mentality and stop moaning you haven’t had a real pay rise for 10 years. Stop complaining that the top 5% of the country appropriates all the growth in wealth this country has generated while you were bled dry in your miserable existence. Just because you were too stupid to grab some of it for yourself. We despise you and look down on you. Is that a surprise? Did that hurt? What did you expect? If like you say you’re sick of political correctness, that works both ways. Two can play that game! This is the new deal: You point your finger at us, and we hold a mirror up to you! Oh, now you would much rather have ‘a civilised debate’ like in the good old days? With facts? Too late mate! We can give as good as we take and so should you! If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
The main stream media are all run by lefties? Too right! Especially the BBC! Lefties with at least half a brain! Most a lot more clever than you! It used to be that there were also quality newspapers that were ‘conservative’. Thats right! Right wing papers! But you were too busy watching ‘Strictly’ and the X-factor and cancelled your subscriptions. You now think you can get all your information from your dodgy FaceBook Friends, although you have no idea if what you are retweeting is the truth or a bloody lie. You see, on the internet nobody gets paid to check facts. It’s all about clicks and mass exposure. You read it because it makes you feel good in your bigoted filter bubble. Because you get lots of ‘likes’ when you retweet yet another Express or Daily Fail story about EU gravy train pay rises and immigrants after your jobs and clogging up our NHS. By all means, write to BBC Watchdog with your complaints. After all you are paying your license fee like the rest of us. But don’t expect the Guardian or the Independent or the Economist to lower their standards to your base level of understanding, because it’s our subscriptions that keep them going. If you don’t like the truth they publish, there’s always Brietfart. Hey even Trump likes them, so you’re in good company.
Oh yes and those High Court and Supreme court judges obstructing ‘The will of the people’. What do they know about the law eh? Why don’t you march in your hundreds of thousands to the highest court in the land and show them who’s boss? Oh you couldn’t be bothered? You might have even been admitted to the public gallery and maybe shout obscenities to that Millar woman you hate so much.She’s a forinner aint she? But don’t be surprised if you land in jail for contempt of court if you do that. You see in our democracy, we have something called ‘separation of powers’. That means we have Government who proposes laws, Parliament who enacts them (by a Majority of MPs voting for them) and then we have an independent judiciary who makes sure all those laws are properly applied as intended. We’ve had this system for a few centuries now and we don’t think it’s a good idea to lay them by the wayside just because it’s slightly delaying your rushed Brexit intentions. Don’t like it? try to get ukip a few more seats at the next General Election. Maybe they can bring back hanging at the same time?
You are telling me a majority of the country voted for Brexit? Err.. No! A very slender majority of the electorate that could be bothered to get out of bed voted in an ‘advisory’ Tory opinion poll. Not Binding for a reason! A lot of pensioners voted brexit only to donate money – 350 m. – to the NHS. Many are dead now. Many more pro-EU youngsters can vote now. Even some of us expats that couldn’t in June! Mind you most of you didn’t have a clue what you were voting for. That’s why Google reported in the days just after the referendum “EU” was the most searched for term. You just wanted to teach the Westminster elite a lesson. I get that. But you’re not speaking for a majority of the country. Let’s move to a different subject.
Let’s talk about your fragile British Identity. Of course you are a racist. To an extend we all are racist (unless you are really colour blind I guess). But face it. Us liberals don’t pose for pictures in front of a desperate ‘swarm’ of refugees, migrants that are clearly from outside of Europe. Look at the brown faces on Nigel’s poster! Yet the people you claim to admire protest against hard working East Europeans that more than likely traveled here by bus waving EU passports. Get it? Fellow EU citizens that come here to pick our vegetables and wipe the arses of our ailing (grand)parents in nursing homes. At least us libtards are honest enough to admit our son playing on his X-box upstairs will never pick cabbages in Norfolk.
So you protest that you want a fairer points based immigration system with more control? You really think we fall for one minute for that claptrap of giving our Commonwealth brethren from the Indian sub continent a fairer chance to compete in our job market for low paid low skilled jobs? Hello! Most of those East European farm labourers are saving up to build their dream house back in Hungary, Poland or wherever. Free movement in EU is a two way street. It allows both them and us Brits to retire to a place in the sun. EU workers are not stupid enough to buy an overpriced undersized house like the one you live in. They rent mainly, even share rooms and beds. They save! They are a godsent for our economy! Without them we’d have lethargic growth like they do on the continent. If we are going to control our borders, why not control them where it counts, where Europe’s Schengen borders border Eurasia. Let’s patrol the mediterranean for people smugglers.Good exercise for Royal Navy! Let’s not fuck up the seamless border between Northern Ireland and and the Republic of Ireland and break the Good Friday agreement in the process. Let’s not make the M20 another lorry park. On the days the French don’t strike anyway!
So annoying when you are on a Calais booze and fag run.
Why was this brexit vote necessary anyway? Wasn’t this whole European project and the Euro soon failing anyway? We’ve all heard that from the few pseudo intellectuals that you follow so many times, that we are getting tired of it. First it was Greece that would surely spell the end of the Euro, then it was the Italian Referendum that had fuck all to do with the EU or the Europe. But it would send the dominos tumbling anyway, because the Italians have banks with funny names! The fact that the last thing poor old Greece wanted to do is go back to the Drachma should have been a clue for you! It’s not a humble little coin that causes youth unemployment in Spain. It’s corrupt politicians taking out loans they can’t possibly hope to pay back. That’s all. We have them, the USA has them, the whole world has them! Get over it. It’s the same bankers that caused the global financial meltdown in 2008. Nothing to do with Europe, EU or Euro however much you keep bleating on about it.
Now let’s talk about how Britain is this great ex-colonial trading nation, but Belgium exports 10 times more to ‘our’ India than we in UK do. Listen up folk! To trade successfully in this global world you’ve got to have stuff to trade. Importing flat screen TVs and iPads from China and exporting mainly containers full of household rubbish (wiring Pound Sterling to make up the shortfall) is not ‘free trade’ ! We don’t mine gold and silver either in this country, so reclassifying the sale of precious metals as “export of Goods” instead of “selling the UK family silver” is yet another Conservative con! Note, not an EU directive! EU has a positive trade balance with the rest of the world believe it or not! Not every country is shite at trading! It goes without saying that eventually all these Sterling denominated IOUs in foreign banks eventually wing their way back to a UK, which is now largely ‘foreign owned’. Politicians may very cleverly hail this sort of thing as “booming foreign direct investment” in our country, but you and I know this is a just another fudge from Osborne and Co. same as their stories about reducing the UK’s 1.7 trillion national debt. Doubling it in fact from Gordon Brown’s days! Brexit Brits just don’t realise who is screwing them, so EU is the easy scapegoat. We are being sold down the river. Not by ‘Bwussels’ but by our own upper class twits that pass themselves off as statesmen and entrepreneurs. Rees-Mogg comes to mind suddenly. Didn’t he say baby formula milk doesn’t need regulation? Think about it for fuck sake! Why do you think Chinese shoppers strip our supermarket shelves of the stuff to send back home?
Do something! Do something is not the same as vote clueless UKIP. Don’t walk away from it all and expect us elites to make it alright again. Do something is not “Shoot yourself in the foot with a hard Brexit”
Joining the ‘Save the pound’ bandwagon was your first mistake in 1999. Look where that got us. It killed off most of our manufacturing base competing in world markets with an overpriced currency. This while Germany makes Euro hay while the EU sun shines exchanging an expensive Deutschmark for a conveniently undervalued Euro. Stop rubbing your hands with glee when the Euro tumbles. It makes no sense! Stop quoting that twat Professor Minford at me. He wants to kill UK manufacturing!
Note this Euro ‘opt-out’ was a deliberate ploy by your conservative elite, while us lefties from the liberal elite were trying to protect you by trying to get us in. You sided with the Tories over a stupid slogan ‘Save our Pound’ and now you are doing it again with this idiotic ‘Take back control’. Small nation states have no control in this globalised world. Stop dreaming of Empire!
Let’s be brutally honest. Some good came out of not joining the Euro. At least it did for the City of London and we were somewhat successful in Britain transforming our economy into the ‘Services sector’. We could have even done that job successfully for the rest of Europe, who don’t know the meaning of the word services and conveniently all speak our language as a second language. Good enough for our call centers anyway. Instead it was only the City of London that saw their EU chance and now thrives selling Euro futures and derivatives, whatever that means.Then came brexit. The big financial institutions are now busy planning their move to Dublin, Amsterdam, Paris and Frankfurt. The ‘service’ jobs that we are left with come with the phrase “Would you like Chips with that?” No wonder McDonald’s moving their European HQ to London is the only positive Brexit news @afneil and the Express can come up with. That and credit card sales up. Great closing down sales!
Look I can go on and on about this and trust me, when it comes to economic arguments you will never win. Yes there are a few Brexit economic Kung Fu fighters that spend more time hunting for what passes as positive economic brexit news and can score a few cheap points now and then. The point is they are in the main barking up the wrong tree. Like the revered Dr North of Flexcit fame. They talk about all these golden opportunities and Jam tomorrow. If only we first leave the biggest market we so neglected on our very doorstep! What you want is bread today, even if it’s thinly spread. Those opportunities they talk about? Trust me they won’t do you any good. If you want to fight globalisation, let’s join together and be a global force in the EU, by joining our forces with culturally like minded! Let’s join together for worker’s rights and consumer protection in EU. Let’s not drop our standards as that twat Rees-Mogg suggested this week but let’s try a make the best of a far from perfect EU, rather than aiding and abetting the likes of fascists like Farage, Wilders and Le pen. Don’t be a knobhead and hanker back to the days when Europe’s nation states fought each other on battlefields rather than in the European institutions.
GA IETS DOEN. ( Get of your lazy arse and do something before it’s too late!)
This is a very free translated Anglicised version of a Dutch blog post by Christian Jongeneel I absolutely loved. Halfway through the translation I strayed off the original text as I realises some concepts like “Zwarte Piet” would mean absolutely nothing in a UK context. Sorry for that Christian 😉